Reflections from 68 to anyone who feels they’re running out of time
Dear Denise,
You’re 35 now, caught in the swirl of work, parenting, and proving yourself. You think time is running fast and you have to keep up. Let me reassure you: life is long. Longer than you imagine. At 68, I can see things you can’t yet.
Right now, you believe success is measured in promotions, income, and recognition. And yes, those things matter, they’ll keep the family afloat and give you confidence. But they’re not the whole story. You’ll discover later that rest, relationships, and health matter even more.
Don’t worry about ticking every box by 40. You won’t miss your chance. You’ll write books in your 60s. You’ll complete a PhD at 64. You’ll create new work after 50 years in the field. The idea that you have to achieve everything early is an illusion. The truth is that you can, and will, reinvent yourself again and again.
About your body: take care of it now. Walk, yes, but add strength. The Denise of 68 knows how important muscles are for independence. Start earlier, and your future self will thank you.
About your hair: you won’t be ready to go grey until your early 60s. That’s fine. When you do, it will feel like more than a colour change, it’s a shift in identity. People will see you differently. Some will still see you as attractive, some won’t. What matters is how you feel about yourself.
About family: you’ll spend years balancing work and home, sometimes feeling stretched too thin. You’ll carry more than your share. Later, you’ll see how those early patterns shaped you, and you’ll also see how they can be softened, rebalanced. Try to ask for help sooner.
About ageing: don’t be afraid of it. I know, at 35, 68 seems unimaginably old. But when you get there, you’ll realise you still feel like yourself. You’ll still go to music festivals. You’ll still laugh, learn, and love. The gift of later life is perspective: realising that each age has something precious to offer.
And here’s something you’ll learn slowly: you will never be younger than you are today. Don’t waste today longing for the past or racing into the future. Be thankful for this moment, even when it feels ordinary.
Finally, know this: you’ll be okay. Life won’t be smooth, there will be losses, griefs, challenges. But there will also be joy, discovery, and renewal right up to the later chapters. At 68, I look back with gratitude.
So breathe, slow down, and trust that your story will keep unfolding.
As I finish this letter, I’m reminded that birthdays aren’t just markers of age, but invitations to reflect on the journey so far and the paths still opening ahead. Next week I’ll be sharing a short video with reflections on reaching the 68th orbit of the sun. A glimpse of the small moments that continue to shape this later chapter of life. For now, I’ll leave it here, with gratitude for the woman I was at 35 and the life I’m living today.
With love,
Denise
p.s I was 40 in the photo above. As a member of the Sealed Knot, we had a 17th Century wedding, and my research became a book.
